Find me the man who invented birth anniversaries!

Ten reasons why I place birthdays on the top of my list of ‘the most disconcerting days of the year’.
1. You realize you are one year older than what you were same day last year.
2. And 4 kgs heavier!
3. You pick the morning’s paper and a cruel reality confronts you in the face- that you share your birthday with a certain president of the country about whom you had bitched generously in a post not too long ago ( destiny can be extraordinarily peevish sometimes).
4. The rule of the day is to be happy. You cannot cry or sulk or whimper. Mood swings are a strict NO-NO this day.
5. You get tired of eating cakes and getting them smeared on your face. Yet the routine seeks a repeat telecast every 4 hours.
6. You are aware of people around you conspiring for the last one week planning surprises of various kinds and you study every action of every person with suspecting eyes wanting to beat them at their game but fail in spite of all your efforts.
7. It’s a pain in the **** unwrapping presents specially when your friend insists that the wrapping paper be intact and that you show some ‘respect’ to her efforts and sentiments by unwrapping it meticulously! Chick, who gets the respect here? You or the wrapping paper? - think about it!
8. You place all the phones in the house by your side at 11: 50 with anxious anticipation wondering who will wish you first on your birthday this time and suddenly it begins to ring. Congratulations! You just had your first greeting. Unfortunately it happened to come on the wrong day. If only her watch was not ten minutes fast!
9. Distant relatives call you on your birthday and wish your sister!
10. With every passing year the teaser, ‘chhori bees/ikkis/baees (whatever) saal ki ho gayi bhai! Ladka-vadka dekhna shuru karo!’ gets louder and more resonant. Your confusion whether you should blush or laugh increases in proportion to the frequency of the teaser.

I’m not complaining really, everyone likes attention... it’s just difficult to reign for a day when you are not used to being the queen!